Hell Yeah, Hummus!


Oh, Hell yeah!

WARNING: I use a food processor for this recipe. I have no idea how to make it without a food processor; possibly some method involving stone tools and arcane religious rituals, but whatever, count me OUT.

I would say I love my food processor, but that would be just…weird. But I am awfully fond of it. Especially since it allows me to make my own hummus, which, as you know if you are a hummus fan, is VERY expensive when you buy it in the store. Also, I hate chopping and dicing vegetation; I admit it, I’m a bit lazy when it comes to prep. It’s not that I don’t like prep; I do! It eases my anxiety, etc. But it’s work, and when it comes to working AT HOME, I admit to a certain…laziness, let’s just be honest.
So the following recipe may seem to run counter to that, as I use fresh (dried, that is) chickpeas, and they do require some preparation before they are usable. Worth every minute, in my opinion, hence:

What you will need to do first:

  • Obtain 1/4 to 1/2 lb of dried chickpeas (aka as garbanzo beans) I get mine from Whole Foods, where they can be found in the dried chickpea aisle.
  • Take your chickpeas home and put them in a nice large pot or bowl, and cover them with water so the level is about three inches above the chickpeas.
  • Cover the little guys and put them in the fridge.
  • Let them soak over night–I recommend rinsing and changing out the water about two or three times; it tends to cut down on the ‘gassiness’ level, if you’re concerned about such things (and if you’re not, you should be. And yes, this means YOU, mister natural!).

Once your chickpeas have inflated themselves (and trust me, you may be shocked at the amount of chickpeas you’ve generated. They’re worse than sea monkeys), rinse them thoroughly under cold water, separate some from the herd and freeze ’em in a freezer bag, with most of the air squeezed out, for later, if desired. Frozen chickpeas will last a long time in the freezer, and you can thaw ’em out and whip up your own golden, delicious hummus at nearly a moment’s notice! How exciting is THAT?

Take the amount of chickpeas you wish to hummus-ize, (probably one or two cups is enough to start with), and toss ’em in your food processor. Then…

What you need:

NOTE: You are at liberty to use canned chickpeas for this, it will not effect my life. It may effect the recipe outcome however, therefore I refuse to be held responsible for any strange or unpleasant results should you stray from the fresh chickpea concept. Just sayin’. 

  • Fresh chickpeas, soaked and prepped as above (WHAT? You didn’t read that part? Scroll up for goodness’ sake!! sheesh)
  • Three or four garlic cloves, peeled
  • Olive oil
  • The juice of 4-6 limes, equal to about 1/2 cup. If you don’t use it all, hey, you can always save it to toss into another of your fabulous creations.
  • Tahini (optional–I’ve made this successfully without tahini, which is a good but rather pricey item. I substituted a few drops of sesame oil, and frankly, the stuff still rocked. So there ya go). You can find tahini many places, but it’s available at Whole Foods…you guessed it, in the tahini aisle! 😛
  • Salt (I prefer kosher), about 1/4 to 1/2 tsp.
  • Fresh pepper if you so desire.
  • Paprika, about 1/2 tsp

What you need to do:

In your food processor you should start with the chickpeas, the garlic, and a bit (a  tablespoon, or a few drops, depending on how much of this you are making), of olive oil  and about a tsp of tahini, if you’ve decided to include it, the paprika and some of the lime juice. Blend the ingredients together, and, just as if you were making mayo, begin to drizzle in olive oil. Go SLOWLY and watch the consistency. Do not add too much; it will make your hummus greasy ick. No good. NO. Too little and hard as concrete. Also ick.

So be like Goldilocks and get it j u s t right.

I recommend adding in the lime juice a little at a time also. Taste, add, taste, add. Same with your salt. (Pepper if you like, I prefer mine without. Freedom, baby. Freedom!)  Go easy, a little salt goes a long way in this stuff. Once your hummus is the consistency and taste you like, you, my hummus-loving friend, are DONE! Stick a fork in yourself! 😛

I freeze half of this recipe for later, and it comes out beautifully when thawed.

Serving Suggestion: Garnish with a sprinkle of paprika if you wish, and serve with pita chips for a wonderful experience. I’ve made my own, but I prefer Stacy’s. Less work, and frankly, baking is one of my weaker talents. Stacy does it better and yummier, but if you want to make your own, by all means…check it out

Bon apetit!


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